


my youth is yours

by transzoemurphy



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Begging, Bottom Jared, Boys Being Idiots, Boys In Love, Consensual Sex, Cunnilingus, Dirty Talk, Edging, First Time, Flirting, Fluff and Smut, Gender Dysphoria, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, Oral Sex, Orgasm Denial, Pet Names, Praise Kink, Theyre gay, Top Evan, Trans Evan, Trans Jared, Trans Male Character, Vaginal Fingering, and i mean i kind of have to tag, consent is hot, fourth base, it goes with the territory i fukcin guess, light Dom/sub dynamics, safe chest binding, theyre both trans, third base, uhh, veronica voice - i think thats what thry call, wow I can't believe I'm posting this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-02
Updated: 2018-12-02
Packaged: 2019-09-05 18:06:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16815739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/transzoemurphy/pseuds/transzoemurphy
Summary: "You're..." Jared paused, searching for an adjective that would properly describe the rush of warmth in his heart."I'm...?" Evan asked, and his expression was amused now."...Ethereal," Jared said."You're such a nerd," Evan said.(it’s Jared and Evan’s first time, ft. they’re both trans and very soft)





	my youth is yours

**Author's Note:**

> fun fact my working title for this fic has been "insert troye sivan lyric here"  
> im Very anxious about posting this !! but !!! here i am !!!!! posting it Anyway because i love my boys !!!

"Are you sure?" Evan asked for approximately the eighth time.  
"Absolutely," Jared said for approximately the eighth time. "Just--" Evan paused the fingers he was running along Jared's thighs.  
"Just don't rush me, or pressure me, or anything, if I get scared?"  
"Of course, babe," Evan whispered. "I don't want to make you uncomfortable. If I do, just kill me."  
"I'm not going to kill you. It's okay, seriously, Ev. Well, it's okay unless I die right now of pure horniness."  
Evan laughed for a second; Jared wanted to play the sound on repeat for years. "It's just, I've never done this before, so."  
"I haven't either. So."  
The two of them stared at each other for a moment before breaking into awkward laughter.  
"God," Jared laughed, shaking his head. "Okay. So. What are we, um, what are we doing…?"  
Evan shifted so he was kneeling over Jared, who looked at him like he was maybe God and/or an angel. "What do you want to do?"  
"What do you...?"  
"Okay, rephrase, um, what -- what's -- what don't you want to do. Because trust me, I have some very vivid ideas, but I don't want you to be uncomfortable."  
"Respect," Jared said, holding up a peace sign, and Evan laughed. The two sobered up a moment later. "Yeah, no, I -- just-- don’t -- um, d-don't..."  
"Hey," Evan whispered, leaning down to press a kiss to Jared's forehead. "It's okay. You're safe, I promise."  
"Sorry."  
"Don't be. It's okay."  
"Just--" he took a breath. "Don't make fun of like, how I look."  
"I won't," Evan promised.  
"And, um, don't -- if you take off this binder I'll literally have a breakdown, so."  
"Got it. The same goes for me," he offered quietly.  
"Um, and just, don't be too mean. Like. Y'know."  
"Actually I don't," Evan prodded, smirking. "So a little mean is okay?"  
"Shut up," Jared laughed.  
"A little mean?" Evan poked him in the side. "Hm? I'm very interested."  
"But enough about me," Jared said, "I want to know about the 'vivid' ideas you have."  
"I have lots," Evan said. He lowered himself down and began pressing kisses to Jared's neck, talking as he did so. "Most of them involve you absolutely wrecked beneath me."  
Jared whimpered and immediately clapped a hand over his mouth. Evan reached up and pulled his arm lightly away, resting it on the bed. "Hey, it's okay, I want to hear you."  
Jared's blush deepened and he subconsciously rocked his hips a tiny bit, looking for stimulation.  
One of Evan's hands drifted to between Jared's thighs. "Can I...?"  
Jared nodded eagerly and Evan experimentally rubbed the heel of his palm over Jared's junk through his jeans. Jared gasped into his touch, and Evan smirked a tiny bit.  
"You're cute," Evan said.  
"We're about to have sex and you're calling me cute."  
"Yep!" He paused. "I feel like we're both entirely too dressed for this situation."  
"You're just generally entirely too dressed," Jared responded. "Any clothes on you at all is too many."  
"You're gay," Evan responded. He sat up and rocked back onto his heels, fighting with the buttons of his flannel. Jared sat up and helped him with some of the lower buttons, his fingers occasionally brushing against skin.  
Evan finally pulled the shirt off. He was wearing a binder (one of GC2B's nude line, probably no. 2 -- not that Jared had spent far too much time on the GC2B website or anything). His skin was much paler than Jared's, and he had a dusting of freckles on his shoulders and stomach.  
"You're staring," Evan said, and Jared could hear his anxiety shining through.  
"You're..." Jared paused, searching for an adjective that would properly describe the rush of warmth in his heart.  
"I'm...?" Evan asked, and his expression was amused now.  
"...Ethereal," Jared said.  
"You're such a nerd," Evan said.  
"Yeah, well, it's the truth," he defended, before busying himself with his own button-up, more specifically, the removal of it.  
His glasses slipped down his nose and he swore, catching them right before they fell and pushing them back up again. "We stan a clumbsy king."  
"Kiss?" Evan asked, pouting. Jared, being gay and in love as per usual, leaned forward, kissing him softly. Evan's lips tasted like... something. Fruit, maybe? It was good, whatever it was.  
Evan bit lightly at Jared's lower lip before pulling away. Jared let out a little gasp at the feeling that made Evan smile proudly.  
Jared finished unbuttoning the shirt and shrugged it off before reaching behind him to pull off the Wheezer t-shirt he was wearing.  
"You're ethereal." Evan shot the compliment right back. He leaned back down from his previous position and hovered over Jared again, running his fingers down Jared's arm and then back up. "You're perfect."  
"We've all been wrong before, it's okay," he mumbled, to which Evan said, "Negative self talk is not allowed."  
"I hate tops," Jared muttered, to which Evan just laughed and pressed a kiss to his shoulder.  
"I really don't think that's true," he smiled.  
"Yeah it is," Jared argued, leaning into Evan's touch and running his fingers along his sides.  
Evan smiled down at him. He lifted one arm, leaving himself braced above Jared with his knees and left arm, but seemed to immediately rethink his idea and instead laid down, on top of Jared, and all his weight was on him and wow. Wow! This was a thing! That was happening!  
"Sensory input," he mumbled, and Evan tilted his head.  
"What?"  
"Y'know. Like loud music or weighted blankets. Except it's you lying on me. Which, don't get me wrong, is very hot, but it's also very calming."  
"Oh, hot?" Evan said, smirking. He truly had a one track mind. Although Jared supposed that maybe he was just scatterbrained, as most people would be thinking about sex as they were preparing to have it. "Tell me about that."  
"What are you, my therapist?"  
"I think that would break conflict of interest laws."  
"You're probably right."  
"So?" Evan asked. He shifted, so one of his knees was between Jared's thighs and the other was on the ground. "Hot? What's hot about this? I'm very curious." He ran his fingers across Jared's stomach, causing goosebumps to rise on his skin.  
Jared sighed, exasperated but also way too turned on to care. "Just. You being on top of me. You being..." he tried to think of another way to phrase his admission. He didn't find one. "Being in control of me."  
"Oh?" Evan asked, and he was kissing a steady line down Jared's neck. "You like it when I'm in control of you?" On the word 'control,' he ground his hips down, effectively rubbing his junk into Jared's. Jared whimpered.  
"God you're pretty," Evan breathed.  
"So are you," Jared said, and his whisper was a lot breathier than he intended.  
"Yeah?"  
"Yeah," he breathed, reaching up and brushing Evan's hair out of his eyes.  
Evan smiled at him and kissed down his neck again, but this time he kissed Jared's collarbone before trailing back up to his shoulder.  
"I want you to touch me," Jared blurted out.  
"I am touching you," Evan said, which, okay, technically yes, because the hand he wasn't using for stability was currently curled in Jared's hair.  
"You know what I mean," Jared grumbled.  
"I do?" Evan asked, faux-innocent.  
"You know. Jesus. I want you to touch my --" he paused. "There's no good terminology that doesn't make me sound like a misogynistic frat bro or a transphobic Georgian sex-ed teacher."  
Evan nodded. "Y'know, that's fair. Frat bros ruin everything." He paused for a moment. "What do you want, baby?"  
Jared shifted positions, not because he was uncomfortable, but for the friction. Evan's breath was hot on his neck. "I want your fingers. Inside me. I want you to touch me." He paused for a second. "I want you to pull my hair."  
Evan adjusted his grip on Jared's curls and twisted his fingers, pulling the hair down. "Like that?"  
Jared was momentarily speechless. "Yeah. Exactly like that. Jesus."  
"Gorgeous," Evan whispered. "Okay. Okay. Here's the deal: we both take off these jeans, because we're still overdressed, and then I'll-- you're really right about the frat bros/sex-ed teacher thing. I hate that."  
Jared grinned up at him. "Sounds good, and I'll continue this correspondence if I manage to stumble upon a decent alternative."  
"Nerd," Evan smiled before rolling off of him and lying back, lifting his hips off the bed to slide his jeans off. His thighs were thick and freckled and had visible muscles which, wow, he was gay! He was really super gay and also probably about to pass out from his current state of gayness.  
He shook himself out of his half-oblivious state (Evan Hansen truly was ethereal) and pulled his own jeans off in the same manner the other boy had, only less elegant.  
Evan climbed back on top of Jared, running his fingers along Jared's thighs before hooking an index finger in the waistband of Jared's boxers.  
"Is this okay?" Evan asked for approximately the ninth time.  
"More than okay," Jared confirmed for approximately the ninth time.  
"And you'll tell me to stop if, if you get uncomfortable, or if anything hurts?"  
"Yes, Evan."  
Evan leaned down and kissed him, biting his lip again and slipping his hand into Jared's boxers. Jared's legs involuntarily fell apart, making room for Evan.  
"My pretty boy," Evan whispered, and he felt his way inside of Jared, and the noise he made upon feeling Evan's finger inside him was positively sinful.  
Evan curled his finger up, stretching him just a bit, as he began attacking Jared's neck with kisses again.  
Jared rocked his hips into Evan's finger and Evan seemed to know he wanted more. He pressed another finger inside of Jared, curling it up and pressing them in and out a little bit, and Jared moaned again, and Evan paused his serial kissing to smirk up at him. "Baby, you're soaked."  
"It be like that sometimes," Jared responded, and he lifted his hips ever so slightly and Evan continued fingerfucking Jared, pulling moans and gasps out of him with every movement. Evan reached up to pull his hair and Jared rocked his hips again, whimpering, and Evan adjusted his wrist before adding a third finger.  
"Jesus," Jared whispered.  
Evan, apparently, wasn't done yet. He shifted his thumb, searching for--  
Jared let out his loudest moan yet.  
\--Yeah.  
"Found it," Evan breathed, continuing the rhythm of pumping his fingers, now with the extra stimulation of his thumb rubbing over Jared's clit over and over again.  
"Evan," he moaned, and he could tell he was close, and Evan's fingers stilled.  
"Why'd you stop?" He asked desperately.  
"I don't want you to come yet," Evan said. "There's something I want to try, if, if it's okay with you."  
"What is it? I was close," he whined.  
Evan ran his fingers lightly through his hair. "I want to go down on you."  
"Jesus," Jared whispered, and he nodded vehemently.  
"Can I? Is that okay?"  
"Yes, more than okay, I'm about to die from a lack of blood to the brain."  
Evan snorted and kissed him. "If I... can I leave... when I'm kissing you. Can I leave marks?"  
"Please," Jared whispered.  
Evan used the palm of the hand he'd had inside Jared for stability as he shifted down, settling between Jared's legs and kissing his hipbone, biting when he noticed Jared trying to keep his hips still and pulling Jared's boxers off - Jared lifted his hips to assist.  
"Shit, Ev, I need you," Jared moaned, and Evan bit lightly at his skin before slipping down and pressing another kiss to Jared's thighs, sucking on his soft skin, biting just a tiny bit, and Jared whimpered at the sensation.  
Evan shifted to the other thigh, a hand on Jared's hip and the other one on his other thigh, but he shifted it and pressed two fingers inside of Jared again, and Jared leaned his head to the side and tried not to whimper too loudly.  
Evan shifted his head just slightly and oh god that's heaven, he couldn't think a single coherent thought as Evan's tongue circled his clit and he pressed a kiss there and Jared's hips bucked up of their own accord but Evan took it like a fucking champ, simply readjusting and continuing his actions.  
Time slowed down and sped up at then same time but it didn't matter, because for just this moment it was only the two of them, only Jared's soft gasps and Evan's sinful but heavenly tongue doing whatever the fuck he was doing, Jesus Christ did he go to blowjob school or something?  
Jared's moans got steadily louder and just as he was about to come, Evan pulled back, glancing up at him, wiping off his chin, and licking his lips.  
"Evan," Jared grumbled, because Jesus, he was doing this again, huh?  
"Jared," Evan mocked, not unkindly, and Jared groaned.  
"At least -- if you're going to keep teasing me -- at least let me touch you too. I want to make you feel like I have."  
Evan climbed back over him and kissed him as chastely as he could considering the situation. He tasted like Jared. The realisation made him flush.  
"Can I?" Jared asked quietly.  
"Yeah," Evan said, and he rolled off of Jared to make the task of removing his boxers a little easier. It was a shame, truly, that his body wasn't on top of Jared's, even if it was only for a second.  
"And can I?" Evan asked.  
"I'm literally begging you to."  
"I don't think you're 'literally begging' yet," Evan said. Jared kind of suspected that was a threat.  
Carefully, Jared pressed a finger inside Evan and up towards him.  
"You'll be literally begging when I'm--"  
In an attempt to shut him up, Jared pressed another finger in and brushed his thumb across Evan's clit in the same motion. "Oh, Jesus, who taught you that?"  
"Lots of sexual frustration leads to lots of jerking off."  
"It paid off," Evan said. He took a shattered breath. "I like... thinking about that. You. Jesus."  
"I always think about you," Jared admitted, something he probably wouldn't have done if he didn't have two fingers in Evan, drawing gasps from the other boy.  
"What do you think about?" Evan asked, his arms shaking with the effort of holding himself up.  
"Well," Jared said, and he continued, because if Evan was going to fluster him, he just had to return the favour, "a few nights ago, I thought about you edging me for hours and finally letting me come three times in a row. And then I failed that math test we studied for together. I kept looking at you and wondering what it would be like if you fucking wrecked me." As he spoke, he adjusted his wrist, preparing to push in a third finger.  
Evan tangled his fingers in Jared's hair and tugged. "That's honestly enough masturbation material for the next three months. Were you loud? How many times did you edge yourself?"  
"I bit down on my blankets. And seven times."  
"Jesus," Evan said. "Were you desperate?"  
"...I made myself cry if that's what you're asking."  
"Holy shit," Evan whispered. He leaned back on the hand by Jared's hair and slipped two fingers inside of him. "I want you to tell me when you're close, okay, baby?"  
Jared nodded and pressed in a third finger. Evan's face went red for a second and his breath caught before he retaliated with a third finger also and rubbed his thumb across Jared's clit.  
"I'm close," he whispered a moment later, and Evan pulled his hand back, resting it on the sheets next to him.  
"I want you, Ev," he whined.  
"I think I'll wait to let you come until you're 'literally begging.'"  
"Fuck you," Jared whined, still continuing his motions. Evan was so hot and wet and tight around his fingers.  
"I was planning on it," Evan responded, waiting another moment before slipping his fingers back inside Jared and fingerfucking him roughly; not enough to hurt but definitely enough to be hot.  
Jared whimpered and Evan seemed to sense, this time, that he was close, and pulled his fingers out of him again.  
"Evan, please," he pleaded.  
"Be patient," Evan sighed, running his thumb along Jared's clit.  
"Evan." He realised his motions had slowed down and continued pressing his fingers in and out of Evan.  
Evan did this three more times, and Jared was growing more and more desperate, arousal settling at the pit of his stomach and stirring and keeping him this close to the edge. Jared buried his face in the pillow, groaning, one of his hands covering his mouth as Evan relentlessly fucked into him, still prying desperate noises out of him, the other tangled in the sheets.  
"Jare. Baby," Evan whispered. "What do you want?"  
"I want to come," he said immediately.  
Evan's fingers didn't still. "And why should I let you?"  
"I've been good. Please, just, please, I need to, Evan," he begged.  
"How've you been good?" Evan asked.  
"Like, you just edged me --" he counted on his fingers as quickly as possible "--seven times. And you said not to come, so I didn't."  
"What I think would be fun," Evan said, "would be to edge you twice that. Watch you fucking collapse underneath me until all you can do is beg." He leaned down and bit at Jared's lower lip. "But I'll be nice, since this is only our first time."  
"You'll let me?" Jared asked hopefully.  
Evan adjusted his wrist. "Maybe."  
"Evan, please, I just want to come, I can't hold on anymore, please."  
Evan pumped his fingers in and out even faster, smirking at Jared's desperate moan.  
"Touch me," Evan whispered. "I want, I want to come with you."  
"Can I?"  
"Yeah, baby, please."  
Jared reached up and pressed his fingers inside Evan again, pumping two a couple times before easily adding a third and circling his clit with his thumb.  
A breathy moan escaped Evan's lips and Jared found himself proud that he could pull such a sound from Evan.  
Evan kissed his way down Jared's neck and made some heavenly, ungodly motion with his fingers. "Come for me, baby boy," Evan whispered, biting a mark into Jared's collarbone and continuing to finger him.  
It took only a second for Jared to let go, for his walls to clench around Evan's fingers, which still kept moving the fucking angel, and he saw stars as what should have been seven different orgasms happened at once.  
Evan stroked him through, though Jared could tell how close he was by his ragged breaths, and a second later he clenched around Jared's fingers and Jared returned the favour, continuing to circle his clit until he came back down to Earth.  
He wasn't done yet, apparently. Evan kept stroking Jared, and suddenly he was coming again, another wave of bliss washing over him.  
Evan finally pulled his fingers back. He sighed, blissed out, and absently put his fingertips on Jared's lower lip.  
What else was he supposed to do? Jared opened his mouth and took all three fingers, swirling his tongue around each until he was sure they were clean.  
Evan rolled off of Jared for a second to grab a box of tissues, wiping off his fingers and then Jared's, before kissing him slowly, lazily, his tongue running along Jared's lower lip.  
"Wow," Jared whispered when they pulled apart.  
"Is that a good 'wow'?"  
"That's a very good wow."  
"Good," Evan said. "You're really hot, uh, just so you know."  
"Uno reverse card," Jared responded, because he was a socially literate person who knew how to respond to compliments.  
"I do want to hear about more of these fantasies of yours," Evan said.  
"Oh my God. Shut up."  
"I'm very interested."  
"Why must you do this to me?"  
"Because no-nut November isn't for quite a while."  
"Evan," he grumbled, drawing out the 'n.'  
"Again, it's not my fault you're really fucking hot."  
"I really hate you sometimes."  
Evan pressed a kiss to his neck, his lips swollen. "I love you, Jared."  
"I love you too."

**Author's Note:**

> I hope that was relatively okay uh !!! I actually had a grand old time writing this. ev and jareds personalities just work so well together ???!!! i love them wow. also if u know me irl u never saw this.  
> y’all know the drill, follow me on tumblr @dont-the-tears-just-pour for musicals, memes, and lots of crying


End file.
